I am absolutely livid. As you are well aware, Ben has recently returned home from spending a week at your residence. Upon his arrival home, Ben informed me of some things you were saying in my absence. I was absolutely horrified to learn that much of what you were saying had no truth to it at all.

If you and she-who-shall-not-be-named have an issue with me, I would kindly request that you address it with me in person. The first bone you had to pick, I believe, was the fact that I went to the mall with my aunt and cousin. You believe I did this deliberately to get out of watching Liam for you. Even if this was the case, I was not aware that watching your child was my moral obligation. I went to Ohio to visit with my aunt and cousin, which I was accomplishing through shopping with them. Because you have an apparent lack of interest in socializing with our family does not necessarily mean that I have inherited this unfortunate trait from you.

Alas, I am not a nanny that will supervise your children at your every last request. I am a seventeen year old girl with every intention to visit with my family.

I was further annoyed when I learnt that you thought of me as a bitter disappointment. I find your reasoning for this conviction to be quite comical, as you claim that I am not quite social enough. You were furious that I participated in a social activity, going to the mall with my aunt and cousin, and then quickly claimed that I was not social enough for your liking. I am curious as to how you came to this conclusion. Are you aware of how many amazing friends I have? Are you aware of how many social outings I attend? The answer is no, and this is because you, sadly, have had minimal to do with my life for the past seven years. I would appreciate it immensely if you would refrain from talking about things that you are obviously ignorant to, IE my life in general.

You may view me as a bitter disappointment, but I hold you in comparable regard. You are a bitter disappointment as a father, and a human being in general.

I was blown away when she-who-shall-not-be-named claimed that she had recently discontinued giving me money for my good grades. Why you ask? Because over the course of my life I have not once received a penny from either one of you for good grades. In fact, neither of you have ever seen a single report card of mine, a fact that you often grumbled about. I never felt that it was necessary for you to view my report card, as you played no active role in my life whatsoever.

You are nothing to me; you certainly are not a father nor a friend. You are nothing. I never made you choose between she-who-shall-not-be-named or I, but you opted to choose anyway. You chose to leave our family, you chose to discontinue seeing your kids regularly, you chose to move far away, you chose not to inform your kids of your wedding, you chose to begin a new family.

How dare you cry at the train station when I left on Sunday.

One day, I sincerely hope that you come to realize the sacrifices and mistakes you have made. Until then, there is very little that I have to say to you.

Tori

We found ourselves waiting for a sedative to kick in on an ill-mannered cat. As we paced, a technician noticed a pile of poop in another cat’s litter box.

The tech then requested that I remove it, and I hesitantly obliged. You see, I am actually forbidden from handling cat poo, as I am under eighteen and contact with cat crap can supposedly have harmful effects on my growth and development. I find this to be quite bogus, as I’ve been scooping cat litter since I was a mere three or four years of age, having been around cats my entire life. I have failed to notice any sort of ill effect from fulfilling this duty thus far.

The pile of poop sat conveniently on top of the litter, which would seemingly make it fairly simple for me to remove. I decided to push it into the garbage, but found that it stuck to the side of the litter box. Using the shovel, I mustered every ounce of strength I possessed and, in one swift motion, attempted to force the poo from the box. Knowing my luck, it just so happened that I used far too much force, and had sent the poo flying through the room, eventually coming to an abrupt halt all over a piece of lab equipment.

The room fell silent. Technicians looked at each other as to assure themselves that what just happened had really happened. Had the student really flung a piece of crap across the room?

I could feel one come behind me, pat me on the back and say ‘yeah, you’re really not that smooth.’

She occasionally wanders rooms to room, making sure that each member of the family is safe from the immediate danger that fireworks present. What an angel.

Po still is still the uncanny image of a potato.

Liam is still a monster.

I cannot believe that that kid is two and a half. Un-freakin-believable.

My coming home from Ohio always results in me missing my family immensely, but comforting is the fact that I know that I will see them before long. It was far worse when I was younger, and dependant on my father to take me to see them. This is one instance where ageing provides an advantage.

At around seven thirty I was awoken by my mother who had left for work. I tossed and turned and after much effort, fell asleep again.

It wasn’t ten minutes later that the phone, located conveniently beside my bed, began ringing shrilly. I crankily answered it, an action that would normally be uncharacteristic for me. I imagine I sounded quite similar to a zombie, and when I learnt that the phone was for Ben, I decided to shake him violently awake and pass it to him. If my slumber was to be disturbed by this, then his was susceptible, too.

I thought for sure I would be up for good. I laid awake, staring at my ceiling, almost envious of the sleeping dog at the foot of my bed. Although, as luck would have it, I was quickly able to fall back into my slumber.

At nine I was rudely awakened by the relentless barking of my Collie. I instructed her, amidst various profanities, to calm down. Sally, being the brilliant, most obedient dog I know, obeyed immediately.

I muttered to myself and tossed and turned for a few moments. This was undoubtedly the worst sleep I had received in quite some time. Much to my astonishment, I was able to doze off again.

I was in a deep, most comfortable sleep when I was awoken by the blaring of my brother’s TV across the hall. He hadn’t gone back to sleep following his phone call. I got up, slammed the door, and laid down yet again.

Just as I began to doze off, the phone rang again. I was angered when I noticed that it was a long distance number, evidence of a telemarketer. I answered the phone and abruptly slammed it down again. WAS THE WORLD DETERMINED TO INTERRUPT MY SLEEP?

Though by now immensely angered, I was able to succumb to my slumber once again. It was around ten thirty when the phone rang for a third time. I answered it begrudgingly, and informed the man that my mother was not available BUT THANKS FOR CALLING.

That was when I decided to wake up.

Today I made sure to move the phone downstairs.

These days have found me consuming tofu hot dogs and chicken burgers, which sound far less scrumptious than they actually are. However, the feeling proceeding mealtime is far more satisfying, as you’re rid of the guilt you’d feel had you consumed a regular hot dog. Let’s face it, nobody is fond of that feeling.

In other words, not much has been going on in my life as of late. Math has proved to be a huge pain in my ass, but luckily I am out of going to summer school. Instead, I am to attend a remedial course for a month come fall. Let’s see, math for a couple hours each week for a month or MATH FOR HOURS EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR HALF OF MY SUMMER? It’s a head scratcher, really.

Why are maths and sciences so difficult? Why couldn’t everything be as straightforward as English? IT BOGGLES THE MIND.

And I’m going to Ohio tomorrow.

It’s nice to have different friends for different purposes. This friend, for example, is my animal buddy. We take our dogs out for play dates and work together at the vet clinic. Most of our conversations consist of discussing the best brands of dog kibble, crate training and humorous tales of our canines. It is surprisingly difficult to find people, let alone fellow teenagers, as devoted to their animals as I.

This friend is also in my biology class, and informed me today that teachers have already made calls home about failed chem exams. I feel slightly at ease, though not totally in the clear. I was unaware that teachers made phone calls to those who failed their exams, which is most likely a good thing, as I haven’t received any calls as of yet.

I still feel that it may be too early to celebrate, though.