It’s Tortilla Time|

A piece of my heart shatters each time I notice the unreal amount of dust accumulating on my former prized possession.

I have a filthy love affair for all things pink.

Today I had a brief visit with the father ‘thing’.

I finally was able to view pictures of my newest little bother (intentional typo, I’ll have you know). His appearance resembles that of a hairy, shrivelled up, klingon-looking potato. With scratched-up cheeks, which have undoubtedly fell victim to the CLAWS on his ridiculously long, skinny fingers. It’s hardly human. I assume that this is normal of newborns.

Basically, Aidan is best described as a potato.

Why do I always use potatoes as metaphors?

…that people write poems about CHEMISTRY? This is a new concept to me. Let’s see, what rhymes with Nitric acid? Oh yeah, NOTHING.

Ben, on our upcoming trip to Mexico-

‘ I guess I’ll be alright, as long as there are no man-eating flowers or anything.‘

I’ve had Scat Man on repeat all weekend. I hold the catchy beat accountable.

The message of the song of course brings back unpleasant memories of she-who-shall-not-be-named, in all her stuttering, belly dancing glory. Why is it that she always manages to ruin everything that is good in my life? Scat Man included.

Note to self: Learn to differentiate between appropriate times to burst out in laughter and inappropriate times to do so.

Is it a mere figment of my imagination, or do parents really make the most genuinely hilarious faces whilst they scream in a fit of rage? Today found me at the receiving end of a screaming session, courtesy of my normally effervescent mother. I was unable to contain my laughter as her face abruptly changed colour from a serene shade of tan to a bright, angry crimson.

As she carried on her tirade, her eyes then appeared to bulge beyond what I had previously thought was humanly possible (think irate, unappetizing tangerines). Said bulging eyes proved to brim with comedic value (in my twisted teenage mind, anyhow). Comedic value that cannot be accurately expressed through words. This is perhaps due to the fact that the intention is to intimidate, not to humour.

Because of my inability to prevent blatant laughter, I had a bowl thrust at my head.

I was most deserving. I would have done it too.

As you can see, today proved to be a very picture productive day.

What my diet has mainly consisted of for the last couple of days.

Basically enough water to shake a stick at… and fruit that contains mostly water. I am so sick of watermelon it’s not even funny.

The resident canines have fell ill due to an illness called kennel cough. It entails much coughing, as the name suggests. The dense one seems to have the worst of it.

He is receiving lots of TLC at this difficult time.

(He is not as fat as he appears in this particularly unflattering photograph)