It’s Tortilla Time| Hi I’m Tori and This is my Story

I went to the vet clinic this morning to observe surgeries, as per my usual regime come Thursday. I was quite shocked when I initially realized that actually I missed going in every other day. It was hard work, and at times it became quite trying and rather mundane, but I learnt a lot.

We found ourselves waiting for a sedative to kick in on an ill-mannered cat. As we paced, a technician noticed a pile of poop in another cat’s litter box.

The tech then requested that I remove it, and I hesitantly obliged. You see, I am actually forbidden from handling cat poo, as I am under eighteen and contact with cat crap can supposedly have harmful effects on my growth and development. I find this to be quite bogus, as I’ve been scooping cat litter since I was a mere three or four years of age, having been around cats my entire life. I have failed to notice any sort of ill effect from fulfilling this duty thus far.

The pile of poop sat conveniently on top of the litter, which would seemingly make it fairly simple for me to remove. I decided to push it into the garbage, but found that it stuck to the side of the litter box. Using the shovel, I mustered every ounce of strength I possessed and, in one swift motion, attempted to force the poo from the box. Knowing my luck, it just so happened that I used far too much force, and had sent the poo flying through the room, eventually coming to an abrupt halt all over a piece of lab equipment.

The room fell silent. Technicians looked at each other as to assure themselves that what just happened had really happened. Had the student really flung a piece of crap across the room?

I could feel one come behind me, pat me on the back and say ‘yeah, you’re really not that smooth.’

Ohio was as entertaining as ever.

Po still is still the uncanny image of a potato.

Liam is still a monster.

I cannot believe that that kid is two and a half. Un-freakin-believable.

My coming home from Ohio always results in me missing my family immensely, but comforting is the fact that I know that I will see them before long. It was far worse when I was younger, and dependant on my father to take me to see them. This is one instance where ageing provides an advantage.

I’m such a bum, since summer commenced I’ve really done nothing of significance. My new job is already awesome though, and I adore the flexibility and freedom that it grants me.

I’ve decided to continue my co-op position at the vet clinic throughout the summer, though I’ve cut down my hours drastically. I’m down to once a week for three hours, as I’m also working this full-time job. I went this morning and watched a lump removal surgery and a few routine dentistries. I have decided, however, that observing dental extractions prior to an orthodontist appointment is not using good judgement.

I cherish the freedom that I have to stay up as late as I desire, as I can awake at whatever hour I please. It doesn’t matter when I complete my work, as long as it is, in fact, completed. I get to remain clothed in my pyjamas all day, unless of course if I choose to take the dogs out for a run, which is a part of my daily regime.

I love this sense of freedom, as if you couldn’t already tell.

My life is at last unencumbered. I sincerely hope that it remains this way forever.

Ohio in eight days, fools.

This school year has at long last concluded.

I had my final exam today, and it still hasn’t completely dawned on me that I’m done for two months. I can finally stop and take a breath, as I’ve spent the last month immersed in a flood of homework, assignments and exam preparation.

And I’m going to Ohio in ten days!

I was recently reminded of stunt I pulled when I was twelve years old.

She-who-shall-not-be-named was still a relatively recent addition to our ‘family,’ and I was obviously far from impressed. She was selfish, vindictive, and just overall despicable. What more could you possibly desire in a stepmother? She was about as amiable as swarm of killer bees. That is, after you approach their hive, rattle it, pluck it from the tree, and douse it with Coca-Cola.

This was after she had somehow managed to convince my father to rarely see Ben and I. She had taken charge of the farm, bastardizing it beyond recognition. It had somehow taken the form of an immaculate estate where you wouldn’t dare touch the contents without first washing your hands. A far cry from the casual country get-away it was intended to be.

She began yelling at us for the most frivolous of reasons, such as lying down on a couch or singing. I didn’t doubt that she enjoyed taking her anger and frustration out on us. She would constantly lecture Ben and I about how her parents’ divorce was far more traumatizing than ours, and that we had absolutely no right to ever feel bad about it.

She had crossed me one too many times, and I was going to make her regret doing so.

I sneaked into my mother’s medicine cabinet one day and discovered pills that resembled mouse duty uncannily. I discreetly packed a handful of these pills into my weekend bag, and was off for a weekend at the farm with my father and she-who-shall-not-be-named.

At the tail end of the weekend, just as we were about to leave, I scattered the pills in piles throughout the entire house. I placed the pills meticulously, making it very convincing that there were an army of mice present. I made sure to place a batch near she-who-shall-not-be-named’s sleeping quarters.

The next time I went to the farm I noticed an abundance of mouse traps scattered throughout.

The Greece trip brimmed with comical occurrences, a most notable one was as follows.

The drinking age in Greece is merely sixteen, so presumably many of my classmates got smashed come night time. It became rather evident, however, that the drunkenness was not limited only to students.

Not only was alcohol easily accessible to us, but so were cigars. Cam and his buddies took advantage of this luxury and smoked a couple in their hotel room during the free time granted to us. It was during this time that of course the teachers decided to do a room check, a check done before our designated bedtime to affirm that everything is orderly. Scrambling around in a quick attempt to disguise the offending aroma of cigar smoke, Cam raced into the bathroom, pretending to brush his teeth, and his buddies doused the room in body spray.

When the door was at last answered my band teacher, visibly drunk, stumbled into the room and accounted for all the boys. His face was crimson, further evidence that he had been drinking heavily. Cam emerged from the bathroom and my drunk teacher, in all his stumbling and slurring glory, conversed with him about the evening.

Teacher- So, what did you do this evening?
Cam- Well, I went to an ice cream parlour.
Teacher- An ice cream parlour?
Cam- Yes, an ice cream parlour.
Teacher- Was this the highlight of your night?
Cam- Yes, yes it was.
Teacher- Well that’s TRAAAAAAAAAGIC.

And with that the teacher staggered out of the room, leaving as abruptly as he had entered. The smoke still lingered in the room, an overwhelming stench to one entering from outside, but it apparently hadn’t phased my teacher in the slightest.

Luck, for once, was on Cam’s side.

• Generic brands of dutch beer taste strikingly similar to metal.
• I take a particular disliking to those who constantly cling to me in an effort to become my friend.
• I do not enjoy eating foods that I cannot pronounce.
• When food is involved and need be, it is possible for me to open my mind, if ever so slightly.
• I am not susceptible to seasickness, though my grandmother doesn’t boast this unique trait.
• I can deter gypsies with minimal effort.
• It is wise to simply regard teachers in all their drunken glory.
• Souvlaki is a scrumptious food.
• I find Greeks notably similar to Italians.
• Cruise food is comparable to plane food.

Good times were had.

Eating Turkey … in Turkey.

Attempting to adapt to the stormy Turkish climate.

I’m a true gangsta.

Creepers.

Ha, I look so EMO.

I have arrived home from Greece.

I am alive.
I had fun.
I will elaborate later.

It is nearly midnight in Athens, and I am still on Athens time.

I made it to Greece alive, although I’m admittedly exhausted. I am currently at a tiny internet cafe in Delphi, Greece. It has been a most interesting trip thus far, and I surmise that there will be plenty more to come.