It’s Tortilla Time| Hi I’m Tori and This is my Story

I fucking hate rats.

Today I went to the mall with a group of people, most of whom I cannot stand. One girl, who I find particularly annoying, decided to purchase a pet rat. I didn’t think too much of it, I was far too occupied purchasing clothing and the like. I suppose some people are just partial to rats, I don’t know.

We were sitting in the food court, though I believe I was the only one not eating. Of course fate would have it that I sat beside the girl who purchased the vermin. She was concerned that the disease-carrying agent wouldn’t have a sufficient supply of air in the box that it temporarily inhabited. Her solution? Let it out and give it some air, of course.

I was visibly uncomfortable about her holding the rodent in the midst of the food court, let alone directly beside me. Everyone oohed and aahed over the seemingly adorable rat, passing it around like a hot potato. I looked on in disgust and kept to myself, hoping, PRAYING that nobody I knew would notice me.

Just as the girl received her pet following its travels from friend-to-friend, the mother fucker JUMPED out of her hands LESS THAN TWO INCHES FROM ME. My reflexes caused me to catch the little shit before it hit the floor, and I was visibly startled when I realized that the vermin was in my hands. It then leaped from my hands onto the floor where it began to run, as if running for its very life.

Out of utter mortification, I began to pursue the rat to prevent the occupants of the entire food court from witnessing it. Here was this teenaged girl, tearing through a mall food court in pursuit of a rat. A few of my friends (and I use this word lightly) began to join the chase. It was on.

I would normally hang back and allow others to diffuse the situation, but the truth of it was I COULDN’T ALLOW THE RAT TO WIN. A mere rodent couldn’t get the best of Tori.

People began to take notice. Some laughed, some screamed. It was, however, undeniable that chaos erupted in the path of this rat. The rodent then chose to seek shelter under the chair of an oblivious, rather portly man. Tameaka, trying her best to avoid worsening the situation further, calmly said ‘Okay, try not to freak out, but there is a rat under your chair.’

It was as if the rat comprehended the sentence fluently, because it then emerged from under the man’s seat.
As the man caught sight of the rat, he immediately leaped up as if fearing for his life and began to scream.

GOTCHA! Tameaka declared with tremendous pride as she apprehended the pint-sized escapee.

‘Oh my God you guys, I am never shopping with you again’ I proclaimed as I slowly reattained my colour.