It’s Tortilla Time| Hi I’m Tori and this is my Story

  • I am a pushy drunk.
  • I will most likely die alone and unloved.
  • I am a badass mother fucker who runs down pyramids.
  • Eating shark surprisingly makes you less afraid of them.
  • Consuming salt-water makes me sick.
  • I feel an immense emptiness when there is no dog sleeping at the foot of my bed.
  • I should probably never take psychology in university.
  • I have an aversion to Wisconsin. Like, seriously.
  • I hate the fucking humidity to the depths of my very soul.
  • Airline food is fake. Very, very fake.
  • I am incapable of tanning.
  • Waterproof mascara is a mere marketing ploy.


8 Responses to “Things I learnt about myself in Mexico”

  1. By yoonamaniac on Mar 11, 2008 | Reply

    How is your discovery on facts about airline food and waterproof mascara something you learnt about “yourself”?

  2. By Tortilla on Mar 11, 2008 | Reply

    Yeah, I thought about that. I guess that these could be considered facts that I learnt about life in general.

  3. By yoonamaniac on Mar 11, 2008 | Reply

    You really thought about that? Dang, you think too much.

  4. By Tortilla on Mar 11, 2008 | Reply

    I highly doubt that.

  5. By Baja-Ma on Mar 25, 2008 | Reply

    Shark is yummy.

  6. By ashman on Apr 20, 2008 | Reply

    haha u r a badass who runs downs pyramids. I dunno if I have ever met anyone so fearless. after all only 2 ppl die there each year. haha. good times. i think we should wait a year.. and then we can have another beach chair talk,.. where we could talk literally the night away just because we have so much dirt. p.s. u are a really good writer. i must say its entertaining to read about ur life haha

  7. By Tortilla on Apr 21, 2008 | Reply

    My life is quite entertaining, isn’t it? I expect US Weekly to knock on my door any day now. In fact, I believe I should be entitled to my own TV show. Imagine how well that would go over.

    And why wait a year? I’m ready for another beach chair convo right this very second. You see, I have dirt year-round. It’s one of my qualities.

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